Ridiculous Conversations from a Marriage

Couple standing by some rocks

This summer, my husband and I will have been together for 10 years. It’s been a wild ride of traveling, having kids, dealing with my depression and anxiety, and each of us losing a parent. He is more than my best friend, he is the only person I have ever trusted enough to completely be myself, and he has accepted me as I am, even the darkest, ugliest parts of me. His goodness, his sweetness, and his integrity inspire me to be a better person.

That said, we have had some funny conversations where we weren’t necessarily having the same conversation at the same time.

Me: This pasta tastes good, but it doesn’t taste as good as last week. Did you use a different sauce?
My Husband: Yeah, what was it I used last time?
Me: Classico?
My Husband: No, (thinking for about 20 seconds). Oh, Classico!
Me: What did you hear me say?
My Husband: I don’t know, I wasn’t listening.
Me: Ya think?

My husband and I were planning to go camping, which he kept referring to as “car camping.” He’s an avid backpacker, and I’d never heard of “car camping.” I’d just called it “camping.” So, when he said, “car camping,” I assumed he meant we were going to sleep in the car.

Me: So, are we bringing the SUV?
My Husband: No, we’ll bring the sedan.
Me: Where will we sleep?
My Husband (somewhat sarcastically): In a tent?
Me: Where are we going to put the tent?
My Husband (even more sarcastically): In the trunk!
Me: How are we going to sleep in the trunk?

“Please Really Listen”
My husband and I were in the car once, and I was trying to diplomatically ask him to make more of an effort to listen to me. I was explaining how much it means to me to really be heard. I know that he loves me, but he could also show me by giving me his full attention when I’m trying to tell him something, especially if it’s important.

Me: Does that make sense?
My Husband (looking like a deer caught in headlights): I love you!
Me (sighing): That is the correct answer most of the time, but in this case, really not so much.

“Shh! Don’t Tell the Kids”
Me: Oh, I bought a C-A-K-E for you and me to share later. (spelling it out because I don’t want to share it with the kids)
My Husband: Cake? Okay. (The kids start yelling, “Cake? I want cake!”)

My Husband (notices something we’re hiding from Zach, that we’re going to give him later): Zach, whatever you do, don’t look in that box under that blanket!

I love my husband dearly. He really is my favorite person in the whole world. He makes me laugh, he laughs at my jokes, he’s a great father and husband, and I hope my kids grow up to be more like him than like me. He is what I am most grateful for in my life.

Do you have similar conversations with your partner?

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5 thoughts on “Ridiculous Conversations from a Marriage

  1. Mara Migraineur January 17, 2014 at 10:24 am Reply


  2. ks January 17, 2014 at 11:10 am Reply

    Yep, in the car wife = radio. Don’t really need to listen.

  3. Adela January 18, 2014 at 1:41 pm Reply

    Early in our relationship, Loved-One and I were at a blues bar with a bunch of his friends. The smoke made my eyes tear-up and turn red. (Before smoking was banned.) One of his friends looked at me and said, “You really are a delicate flower.”

    The next day Loved-One called and said, “Hello, Cut Flower.”

    “Umm… hello?”

    “Remember? You are Adela Cut Flower?”

    “What?” Pause while gears turned in my head. “No, a delicate flower.”

    “No wonder that didn’t make any sense.”

    • Frankie Laursen January 18, 2014 at 1:44 pm Reply

      It’s so funny how they go along with things even though they don’t make sense. There’s a bit of lemming blood in every man. Thank you for sharing.

  4. […] In January, they featured three more blog posts (When Sexual Fantasies Get…Complicated, Ridiculous Conversations from a Marriage, and My Son Wants to Buy a Dress). It feels really validating to have professional editors choose […]

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